Letters from Binod

Binod, one of my favourite people from the gang, has been in regular correspondance with me.
these are the letters exchanged!! n many more to come....

hi Aastha

thanks for pictures

you all are good and having a good workbut not good moeny at all.

cuse of not so meny tourists

other thinks are ok.

see you

binod

Hello Aastha

thanks for picture we are very happy to see them

but we are sad that we miss bam, he is not any more.

so how are you hope you are fine and good

love to write you but no word with me for you

tek cear

bye for now

your friend binod

oh my god!!!!!!!!
when did he die?
what happened?
how?
this is bad news
please offer my prayers if you go for the funeral.
keep the faith
cheers
aastha

oh! its all rady hapened a week

every body have to go one dayhe used to take lot of drinks

so his lever was not working i know it`s very sad

but true and every body have to go oneday

anyway how is your days going on

hope it going allright

you know aastha i am going to my village

for festival

and

nothing new in my life

just this much for now i will be waiting

for your mail

binod

how you doing

hope every things are all right

since long time not writing you

sorry i did let

tell me what are you doing

you remembering me or you allredy forgot

i am so curise to know about you

so please wright me as soon as posible

see you then cheers

binod

hi binod!!!!
i have been busy with my work in delhi, also been travelling a bit.
i can never forget you all.
i miss you all so much
how is my dear Tara? and her nani? give them my love
i have been busy doing some very boring but important work..
i hope i will be able to travel to nepal soon, so that i can meet you all once again.
i think i am going to be very busy till feb next year, need to take a holiday after that.
ok i have to go now
so you take care and don't drink too much
cheers
aastha

thanks for mail and remembering us

we miss you too tara and all fine here

hope same to you at delhi and hope to see you again

your mail makes me realy happy and i never drinks any more

hope you don`t feel bad and boring any more

oh tara`s nani allso fine as well i forgot to tell her that you gives love

but i will tell her don`t worry be happy

we will met again and sear our feelings

so, i am all so going now see you again

cheers

binod

hi! aastha
how are you?

no mail since long time what happend?

are you busy steel.

or you gote married?

so when are you coming to nepal?

aastha i miss you...

tell me some thinking about you...

we all are missing you very much and tara as well,

binod

Dear Binod,
its always so good to get your letter!!
yes!! i have been a little busy with things...
also my mother has been a little unwell. so i have been running from home to work.
rest all is well!
i miss you all very much!
i would love to come back to meet you all, but i really don't know when...
how is your work?
are there many tourists?
take care of yourself!
cheers
aastha

Hey Aastha

how are you

hope you are all wright

if not i preay with my god for you ok

since long time not geting your mail why?

are you all wright?

where are you now?

miss you binod

how you doing

hope every things are all right

since long time not writing you

sorry i did let

tell me what are you doing

you remembering me or you allredy forgot

i am so curise to know about you

so please wright me as soon as posible

see you then cheers

binod

hi binod!!!!
i have been busy with my work in delhi, also been travelling a bit.
i can never forget you all.
i miss you all so much
how is my dear Tara? and her nani? give them my love
i have been busy doing some very boring but important work..
i hope i will be able to travel to nepal soon, so that i can meet you all once again.
i think i am going to be very busy till feb next year, need to take a holiday after that.
ok i have to go now
so you take care and don't drink too much
cheers
aastha

hi!aastha

how are you today?

thanks for mail and your sweet words on it...

i am realy happy to get your mail in my mail box...so how is your days going on?

hope every things are raning on with smoothly right?

hey!

what happend to your mother is she ok?i pray to my god to make her fine as soon,

so when you are coming to nepal ...you are welcome any time ok,from my side...

well my work is ok and there are not so many touriest in this time,so you can't find many...

so we can work only some time in a week,

and how is your's work?

and your health ?

take care of our aastha ok?

then see you in next mail

binod

Dear Binod,
how are you?
my mother is still not well!!
i will definitely come and meet you all this year.
its beginning to get very hot here now!
how is your government doing now?
have the Maoists stopped fighting?
take care
and do keep writing
cheers
aastha

hi! aastha...

i am fine and you?

i am sorry to hear about your mother and i pray with god to make her better as soon as,

well you are welcome any time in nepal and patan as well,from me and all my friends...and tara and nani was asking as well,

it's hot in afternoon but steel cold a bit in morning and eveing here now!...

well our goverment is ok now but steel there are some problems from other some party like madesi and janjaati,do you know about they...?they are belong to caste out of bramand and chetri...and they want some members of there caste in a goverment place...so they make some time staick or banda...you know...?

well moists are not fighting in this time but they wants to make election with in a 3 month...and in that election also king have to take part and moists as well and 7 ruling party...so it's going to be a big election i guess...

well for you is no probs so when you are coming then...?

tell me befor you come ok

then take care

cheers binod

Dipendra

Dipendra was a young boy who assisted me for the Radio project in Nepal. he in a student of class 12. earnest young enthusiastic young blood from a Communist family in Nepal. he helped me with the translations of the recordings, with the editing of the material and was my shadow for most of my stay there. the evening i left Nepal i was bidding farewell to everyone. the fellow artists, the tourist guides, the friends i had made during my stay. when i said goodbye to Dipendra he hugged me and wept like a child. we had developed a special bond.
he kept in touch with me on a regular basis even when i got back.
he recently wrote to me that he had enjoyed the experience of working with communities with me and wanted to initiate his own project. he wants to collect money from his school-mates and go to the neighboring villages and use that money to fund education for the poor children there. he said he needed suggestions for his project. i am sooo proud of him. and for me this is in another sense an extension of my project. if i could contaminate one i am sure there are others willing to listen.......
6th jan 2007

Sabin

Sabin is HIV positive. I don’t know what made him take confidence in me and tell me about his illness, especially since it is such a taboo in south Asia
He was definitely my favorite amongst the other guides I worked with. While I was in Nepal he decided to be my shadow, and follow me around everywhere. I worked with the other guides through the day, but towards the evening Sabin would take me for walks around the neighborhood. Infact he took me for an official tour and I paid him for it too, later of course we were just friends hanging out. He was a skinny boy of 25. He looked unwell, but one day when he did tell me about being HIV positive, I really was upset.
He was a druggie and recovered, worked as a tourist guide to pay for his expensive medication of HIV. He was married and divorced and had a son. His wife and son were not infected. He said he wanted to live to watch his son grow.
He mailed me when I got back to India and said that he was very unwell and needed to be operated upon for a cyst. I went frantic looking for any information I could find on the issue. I must admit we really don’t know all there is to know about aids. Then I started contacting agencies for help. Must have sent out at least 60 mails to people.
He said he required 10,000 RS. I did not have that kind of money, infact still don’t. I got a few responses, but that was only to help him pay for his ARV, not to sponsor the operation. We exchanged mails everyday. He was desperate for money and I gave him all the comfort I could, since that is all I could do then.
I asked him to scan and mail me his reports. Which I then sent to people who work with the AIDS issue in India. One of them got back to me to tell me that the reports were bad and that the guy to whom they belonged had a few months if not weeks to go. Operation they told me was out of the question. They said that his doctor in Nepal was either cheating him or was giving him false hope. Which they said is a common strategy. They told me I should continue to tell Sabin that I was looking for help and keep him alive for as long as I could on lies. I was very troubled. I kept mailing him to say that help would arrive, which never would..
Sabin probably gave up on me and stopped mailing me or asking for help. Or maybe he died …… I don’t know. I have not had any response to any of my mails…. and am too chicken to call. Because if my dear Sabin died ……………… I will know that he died thinking ….’my friend did not help me’. Strangely it’s something I shall take to my grave.

BALM

Balm was anti Christ, pro substance abuse, not afraid to die, and the ballsiest guy I have yet to meet.

I met him in Nepal during my workshop. He was one of the tourist guides I met and hung out with. His stories were always way ……………..Like once he was so stonned while taking a bunch of Europeans to the Everest base camp, he did not realize a leech had attached itself to his neck. When the leech had fattened itself silly, ourman thinking it was the amber he wore around his neck growing in size…….. touched it to discover otherwise.

He had tried to kill himself more than most people attempt. No one knew how he survived. Gashed wrists, jumping off buildings, done it all and more.

He was christened Mahendra, but as a child selling Tiger Balm he chanced upon some tourists who wanted to buy a balm. He said it was for 300 Rs, the suckers thought dollars and made history for Balm, because was then on BALM. The guy who sold something worth 10Rs for 300 dollars.

While I sat around talking to the tourist guides or playing with the kids there…….. he would invariably beat one of the little boys. They all hated him. When I asked him why he hit these poor kids he told me “you don’t know they are idiots, they try smoking and sniffing adhesives to get high, they think its cool,……… it’s stupid. I do it coz I have no reason to live. I don’t’ want to live……. It’s a piss off.”

Today Balm died.

I was not told how.

It should not upset me, coz that is all he ever wanted and spoke about. “DEATH”

It’s a pity those who never met him, will never meet another like him.

So today I raise a toast to you Balm….CHEERS!!

tourist guides+nepal+radio+me

The Patan Durbar Square is an ancient cluster of temples and palaces. Its historical significance is recognized by UNESCO in the world heritage list. Although when SUTRA international artists workshop 2006 invited me to work there, what struck me was not the glory of its past, instead the comfort with which a Chinese perfume shop has housed itself under a great pagoda of the giant emergency bell and many other such instances of past-meets-present. The shopkeepers have cleverly made a niche for themselves in the ancient city architecture. This to me was fascinating. The area looks lived-in and not sanitized and bleached like most of our Indian monuments. Which of course can raise an entire discourse on the issue of maintenance and restoration.

The square is swarming with vendors selling trinkets and souvenirs, with beggars and with tourist guides. I decided to work with the last category. They are people who know the history of the square, meet new tourist everyday, speak several languages and are full of exciting stories of their trek up in the Himalayas.

Meanwhile Nepal, (I learnt at a community radio workshop in New Delhi), has a rich community radio scene. So, when I got there one of the first things on my agenda was to visit a community radio station. Radio Sagarmatha is a community radio station located in Lalitpur, not far from the Patan Durbar Square. The crew at Radio Sagarmatha was extremely receptive and warm.

I decided I would work with the local tourist guides of Patan Durbar Square by recording their stories and creating a half hour collage of it and broadcast it from Radio Sagarmatha. My art project would be a radio show.

Radio has a larger audience in the third world than any other medium of broadcasting, for the simple reason that a radio set is relatively inexpensive. The art of oration and story telling is progressively getting replaced with the advent of cable television. Sound pushes the mind to imagine a corresponding visual. That sense of imagination, for me is very important.

Mohan Bista, Station manager Radio Sagarmatha heard me out and immediately agreed to broadcast the show from his station, infact he went ahead and offered his digital recorder and the permission to use the editing studio at the station as well.

The next challenge would be to penetrate the community. This surprisingly was not as difficult as I imagined it would be considering the time limitation of 10 days.

If you hang around the square long enough a guide WILL approach you and ask if you would like to be taken on a guided tour of the wonderful Patan Durbar Square. I gladly consented to be taken on a guided tour of the square. That is how I met Sabin Khadka, who later became one of the key people of my project. A 25 year old boy, married and divorced, has a son, is a recovering drug addict and is HIV positive. And this in short is the story of just one of the 27 of the 40 guides of Patan Durbar Square I worked with.

The first few days were spent on getting acquainted and recording the initial stories. Once the ice was broken and we had spent enough time with one another, I would find these guides waiting for me ever morning on the steps of the palace. This was to be our adda for the duration of the workshop. We chatted endlessly over cups of sweet chai. Fortunately the other artists at the workshop were working inside the courtyard of the same palace, so the guides hung around getting a sense of art and understanding its process in a new light. Relocating it in their vocabulary as a legitimate language of expression regardless of the art they were familiar with on the walls of the temples.

Gradually the real stories emerged.

Bicky, a trekking guide spoke about his near death experience in the Himalayas, and of how he was then saved by the tourist he had taken to the mountains. Ravi nursed a leech in his shoe for several days in the snow, till he found a camp and had to get the leech surgically removed from his foot. He still carries the marks of the operation as proof of his adventure.

I was introduced to the concept of a Godfather by these men. It so happens that visiting tourist mostly from Europe and Japan, either get moved by the poverty of Nepal or for various other reasons adopt a guide and pay for him to either visit their country or pay for his education or sponsor him in some way or another. Vikram found such a German Godfather who sends money regularly for his education, although Vikram uses the funds for everything other than schooling. Sabin’s godfather paid for him to visit Japan and spend two years with him there. Sabin’s godfather had lost his family in a plane crash in Nepal and thought Sabin had a striking resemblance to his son, so he decided to pay for Sabin to be with him for two years in Japan.

A number of fascinating stories were of love. A few of these guides have girl friends in foreign countries. Raj has a German girlfriend who he regularly chats with four hours a day. Kumar has a Korean girlfriend and he would bargain his rates to the minimum just to make enough money to pay the cyber café to check her mail. Although they refused to talk about their love for the radio show, they did share with me how they wished to one day marry or not marry the woman in question.

When it is the tourist season, September- December, some of them have made up to a lakh plus in one day. Surender ji, an older member of the gang saved enough money to buy land and now comes to the square for sentimental reasons and not financial. Sometimes they have to be happy with a pack of Japanese cigarettes and no payment at all.

Drugs seem to the problem with a few and the solution to problems for the rest. In the evenings we would sit around and listen to Babu Raja play the guitar or listen to Binod play the flute. During these music sessions joints were ceremoniously rolled and passed around. Sabin, after spending eight months in a drug rehabilitation center sounds mature and shudders at the memory of his cold turkey. Mahendra’s arms on the flip side tell tales of his supernova life. Punctured with syringes his veins are covered with sores of his last trip. “It is not me; it is my pain that asks for the damn drug”.

There were a number of tales of foreign women inviting these guides for sex. It works very simply, for them it is a win-win situation. They get to sleep with a gori and get paid for it too. As a result some of them have got STD’s. The AIDS awareness is low and the discrimination and humiliation high. Krishna went for his regular HIV tests and the nurse refused to take his blood for the test. His expertise in injecting drugs helped him to draw his own blood for the test. He should be resting 18 hours a day, but comes to the square at the crack of dawn, because he needs money for his expensive medication.

At the end of 10 days I no longer had to ask or explain anything. Two of the guides Sabin and Binod had perfected the handling of the recorder and could sit and conduct the project flawlessly. They completely got the hang of it. After some three-three and half hours of recorded footage I took it to the editing table. Rishi Acharya of Radio Sagarmatha helped me sort the show out. We spent two days editing the work into a half hour show. The show had to be recorded in their local dialect of Nepalese or Newari, since Radio Sagarmatha is a community radio channel and believes in using the local language ONLY for their shows. The half hour assimilation of their stories started with their introductions: “mero naam Binod ho, mero naam Mahendra ho.. “ and so on. The second half of the show was a compilation of sketches of short stories and conversational memoirs. The last fifteen minutes of the show were detailed narratives of a slightly somber content, where the stories of HIV, substance abuse and poverty were collaged. Woven into the fabric of the interviews were soundscapes I recorded during the workshop. Like the blaring speakers of the CD shop which invariably played “om mane pemehom”, Binod playing Hindi movie tunes on his flute, Babu Ram strumming his guitar to a hip Nepalese rock song. Rishi helped me to recreate the ambiance of the Patan Durbar Square through sound.

I purchased cheap Chinese radio sets, about 40 of them and gifted them to the people who I worked with. On the open studio day (exhibition) we all sat around the palace steps and heard the show together. They were all thrilled with the show and the fact that their lives and stories were on air for all of Katmandu to hear. One of them took the Radio Sagarmatha contact from me and wanted to do a show on discrimination against patients suffering from HIV positive. I think he has something important to address and if I had in any way facilitated that I would call it a day. Binod told me that the community of the guides had been at war for a while due to professional reasons. But since I had started this project with them, they had started hanging out together and the ice had broken.

Email id’s were exchanged and I got a few gifts and an invitation for dinner and a chance to learn from the lives of people and a chance to be accepted into their lives. When my cab was driving away from the square for the airport each one of the guides I worked with came to bid me farewell. And my mailbox has atleast one letter from my friends in Nepal per day.

I guess it will be fair to say that my work is still under process.

Aastha Chauhan

Sutra International artist’s workshop

2006