Sabin
Sabin is HIV positive. I don’t know what made him take confidence in me and tell me about his illness, especially since it is such a taboo in south Asia
He was definitely my favorite amongst the other guides I worked with. While I was in Nepal he decided to be my shadow, and follow me around everywhere. I worked with the other guides through the day, but towards the evening Sabin would take me for walks around the neighborhood. Infact he took me for an official tour and I paid him for it too, later of course we were just friends hanging out. He was a skinny boy of 25. He looked unwell, but one day when he did tell me about being HIV positive, I really was upset.
He was a druggie and recovered, worked as a tourist guide to pay for his expensive medication of HIV. He was married and divorced and had a son. His wife and son were not infected. He said he wanted to live to watch his son grow.
He mailed me when I got back to India and said that he was very unwell and needed to be operated upon for a cyst. I went frantic looking for any information I could find on the issue. I must admit we really don’t know all there is to know about aids. Then I started contacting agencies for help. Must have sent out at least 60 mails to people.
He said he required 10,000 RS. I did not have that kind of money, infact still don’t. I got a few responses, but that was only to help him pay for his ARV, not to sponsor the operation. We exchanged mails everyday. He was desperate for money and I gave him all the comfort I could, since that is all I could do then.
I asked him to scan and mail me his reports. Which I then sent to people who work with the AIDS issue in India. One of them got back to me to tell me that the reports were bad and that the guy to whom they belonged had a few months if not weeks to go. Operation they told me was out of the question. They said that his doctor in Nepal was either cheating him or was giving him false hope. Which they said is a common strategy. They told me I should continue to tell Sabin that I was looking for help and keep him alive for as long as I could on lies. I was very troubled. I kept mailing him to say that help would arrive, which never would..
Sabin probably gave up on me and stopped mailing me or asking for help. Or maybe he died …… I don’t know. I have not had any response to any of my mails…. and am too chicken to call. Because if my dear Sabin died ……………… I will know that he died thinking ….’my friend did not help me’. Strangely it’s something I shall take to my grave.
He was definitely my favorite amongst the other guides I worked with. While I was in Nepal he decided to be my shadow, and follow me around everywhere. I worked with the other guides through the day, but towards the evening Sabin would take me for walks around the neighborhood. Infact he took me for an official tour and I paid him for it too, later of course we were just friends hanging out. He was a skinny boy of 25. He looked unwell, but one day when he did tell me about being HIV positive, I really was upset.
He was a druggie and recovered, worked as a tourist guide to pay for his expensive medication of HIV. He was married and divorced and had a son. His wife and son were not infected. He said he wanted to live to watch his son grow.
He mailed me when I got back to India and said that he was very unwell and needed to be operated upon for a cyst. I went frantic looking for any information I could find on the issue. I must admit we really don’t know all there is to know about aids. Then I started contacting agencies for help. Must have sent out at least 60 mails to people.
He said he required 10,000 RS. I did not have that kind of money, infact still don’t. I got a few responses, but that was only to help him pay for his ARV, not to sponsor the operation. We exchanged mails everyday. He was desperate for money and I gave him all the comfort I could, since that is all I could do then.
I asked him to scan and mail me his reports. Which I then sent to people who work with the AIDS issue in India. One of them got back to me to tell me that the reports were bad and that the guy to whom they belonged had a few months if not weeks to go. Operation they told me was out of the question. They said that his doctor in Nepal was either cheating him or was giving him false hope. Which they said is a common strategy. They told me I should continue to tell Sabin that I was looking for help and keep him alive for as long as I could on lies. I was very troubled. I kept mailing him to say that help would arrive, which never would..
Sabin probably gave up on me and stopped mailing me or asking for help. Or maybe he died …… I don’t know. I have not had any response to any of my mails…. and am too chicken to call. Because if my dear Sabin died ……………… I will know that he died thinking ….’my friend did not help me’. Strangely it’s something I shall take to my grave.
posted by jabber at 3:55 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home